I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
