I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
