I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize