There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
