omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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