My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize