yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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