No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
