Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
