So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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