your room smells of hookers.
And success
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
