he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Less talking, more tequila
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
