Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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