Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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