I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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