He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize