A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
the night ended with taco bell and tears
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
