ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
