i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
