Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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