Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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