the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Randomize
