If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
