She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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