Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
