dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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