Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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