I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
