dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
