physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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