and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
