I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
