his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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