i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
