so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
