as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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