My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
