Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Randomize
