think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
