shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
