it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
