If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
