Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
