Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
