so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
