I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
