fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If I die, sorry about rent.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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