You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
