Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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