I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
they're like a gay fantastic four
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
