Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
