My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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