Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
one two three fourrrrnication!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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