he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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