You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
